Skip to main content
Facebook
X (Twitter)

Treasury Stops Publishing National Debt to Save Americans from Needless Stress

In an unexpected policy shift, the U.S. Treasury announced it will no longer publish the national debt figures, citing growing concerns over public anxiety. Officials say the decision aims to protect citizens from “needless stress” triggered by seeing the debt ticker rise daily.

The national debt, which previously appeared on the official Treasury Department website, had become a source of unease for many Americans. Economists note that the numbers often sparked heated debates online and in political circles, but rarely led to practical solutions.

A spokesperson explained that Americans “deserve peace of mind, not daily reminders of trillions they didn’t personally spend.” Instead, the Treasury will issue “wellness reports” highlighting positive indicators such as job growth and consumer confidence.

Critics argue that shielding the public from debt statistics reduces transparency and could undermine fiscal accountability. Supporters counter that the move is no different from removing calorie counts from dessert menus.

The Treasury confirmed that internal tracking of debt will continue, though the data will remain for “authorized eyes only.”

For historical debt figures, the public can still visit the U.S. National Debt Clock, though officials advise doing so “at your own emotional risk.”

In Response to U.S. Tariffs, Indian Software Developers Slow Down Coding by 25%

New Delhi – August 7, 2025 — In an unexpected move that blends quiet protest with strategic disruption, a growing number of Indian software developers have reportedly begun to intentionally reduce their coding efficiency in response to the United States’ recent tariff increase on Indian technology imports.

Industry insiders say the slowdown amounts to an estimated 25% increase in development time for equivalent software projects contracted by U.S.-based firms. The action, while unofficial and uncoordinated at the national level, is gaining traction among freelance developers and small-to-medium outsourcing firms frustrated by the economic implications of the tariffs.

“This isn’t about sabotage,” said an unnamed senior developer at a Bengaluru-based outsourcing firm. “It’s about expressing dissatisfaction with policies that directly affect our livelihood. If our work is taxed more heavily, our effort will adjust accordingly.”

The U.S. imposed a series of new tariffs last month on a range of imported digital services and software tools from India, citing what officials described as “competitive imbalances in the technology sector.” The move has been widely criticized in India’s IT circles, where outsourcing remains a key pillar of the country’s export economy.

Industry analysts note that the slowdown, if it spreads, could lead to project delays, rising costs, and increased uncertainty for American businesses relying on Indian developers for code delivery.

“This is a form of passive resistance,” said Shruti Mehra, a technology policy analyst at the Indian Institute for Global Economics. “By stretching delivery timelines, developers are indirectly highlighting how integral their work is to global tech operations — especially in the U.S.”

It remains to be seen how American firms will respond. Some companies may attempt to shift operations to other countries, while others may push for a resolution at the policy level to avoid further disruption.

In the meantime, Indian developers appear to be sending a clear message: if their code is going to cost more, it might take longer, too.

Canada Asks Trump for More Sanctions: “They Make Our Economy Grow”

Ottawa, July 30 — In a baffling yet confident statement this morning, Canada formally requested that Donald Trump, should he return to power, reintroduce and even expand sanctions against the country. The reason? “They worked wonders last time.”

Finance officials from Ottawa say that U.S. sanctions during Trump’s presidency unintentionally boosted Canadian industry by forcing local innovation, reducing imports, and strengthening national pride.

“Frankly, we’re better off when he’s angry,” said Deputy Finance Minister Sylvain Roy. “The last round of tariffs triggered a manufacturing boom, a tech surge, and an unexpected increase in maple syrup sales.”

A confidential memo leaked from the Prime Minister’s office reportedly refers to Trump as “Canada’s most effective unintentional economic advisor.”

In response, Trump was said to be “strongly considering it,” telling a small crowd at his golf course in Doral:

“They want sanctions? I’ll give them the best sanctions they’ve ever seen. You’ll be begging for regular trade again. Nobody sanctions better than me. Ask China.”

Canada’s new economic strategy, nicknamed “Operation Thank You, Donald,” includes a toolkit of passive-aggressive policies designed to provoke Trump:

  • Quietly removing ketchup from hotel menus in Alberta
  • Broadcasting French-dubbed versions of Fox News into Michigan
  • Naming a Halifax landfill “Trump Ridge”

Parliament has also debated issuing Trump Tariff Bonds to raise money from future rounds of U.S. economic punishment.

Meanwhile, Trudeau declined to comment but was seen smiling while drinking an imported Diet Coke — one of the few U.S. products still surviving the last trade war.

Economists remain divided. Some say Canada is playing a dangerous game. Others believe it’s a rare moment of diplomatic jiu-jitsu: using a geopolitical rival’s ego to fund national growth.

One thing is clear — as one MP put it,

“If Trump wins, we’d like front-row seats. And higher import taxes, please.”

Trump Eyed for Nobel Peace Prize Over End of Global Tariff War

OSLO — A growing number of international analysts are speculating that U.S. President Donald Trump could be considered for the Nobel Peace Prize — this time not for brokering Middle East agreements or summit theatrics, but for what experts are calling the “informal resolution of the Global Tariff War.”

According to sources close to the Norwegian Nobel Committee, Trump’s decision to stop tweeting about tariffs, combined with his apparent loss of interest in economic policy altogether, has been interpreted as a “de-escalation breakthrough.”

“Peace doesn’t always come through treaties,” said Lars Holstad, a senior fellow at the Institute for Economic Diplomacy in Oslo. “Sometimes it’s just about shutting up long enough for markets to calm down.”

Supporters argue that Trump’s self-declared “victory” over unfair trade practices — achieved largely through tweetstorms, unilateral tariffs, and surprise G7 walkouts — created what one economist called “a chaotic path to stability.”

When asked about the potential nomination, Trump responded: “Many people are saying I deserve it. Obama got one for doing nothing. I ended the tariff war. The world is very thankful. Tremendously thankful.”

The Nobel Committee declined to confirm any candidate names but acknowledged “a wide field of creative nominations this year.”

This website publishes fictional news stories for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events or individuals is coincidental or satirical.

en_USEN