Macron Celebrates Happiness Rise

Macron Notes Rise in Palestinian Happiness Index Following State Recognition

French President Emmanuel Macron announced Tuesday that Palestine’s national happiness index has increased by 12.7% since France formally recognized Palestinian statehood last month. The Élysée Palace released the findings during Macron’s weekly press briefing in Paris. “We observe measurable improvements in Palestinian well-being metrics,” Macron told reporters. The French National Institute of Statistics and Economic…

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Greta Thunberg Appointed as Palestine’s Foreign Minister

The Palestinian Authority confirmed today the appointment of Greta Thunberg as Minister of Foreign Affairs. The decision follows a cabinet reshuffle in Ramallah approved by President Mahmoud Abbas. Thunberg will oversee international relations and represent Palestine in diplomatic negotiations. According to the Palestinian Ministry of Foreign Affairs, her priorities include strengthening ties with European governments,…

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Trump Predicts

Trump Forecasts Global Politics: “Nothing Excluded, Including Nothing”

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump offered his most comprehensive foreign policy outlook yet during a Tuesday press conference, declaring that his administration’s approach to international relations excludes nothing, “including nothing itself.” The President made the remarks while addressing reporters’ questions about his strategy for managing relationships with key allies and adversaries. “We’re looking at everything,”…

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Euro Commission Buys Paper

European Commission Buys Extra Office Paper to Respond to Russian Drones in Poland with Protest Notes

BRUSSELS — The European Commission has authorized an emergency purchase of office paper after Russian drones crossed into Polish airspace this week. Officials said the additional supplies will ensure the EU can continue issuing formal protest notes at “full capacity.” The decision followed late-night discussions at the Berlaymont building. A Commission spokesperson admitted that existing…

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Trump Putin

Trump Says Russia Presents No Issue Unless It Invades Czech Republic

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump outlined his administration’s foreign policy stance regarding Russia during a White House press briefing Tuesday, declaring that Moscow poses no threat to American interests unless it invades the Czech Republic. “Russia has been tremendous, absolutely tremendous,” Trump told reporters in the Rose Garden. “Putin calls me, we talk, everything’s beautiful….

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Putin Modi Xi

Eternal Rulers Club: China, Russia, India Launch “League of Dictatorship States”

BEIJING — Leaders from China, Russia, and India gathered in Beijing to announce the creation of a new alliance, informally dubbed the “League of Dictatorship States.” Officials at the summit said the group’s purpose is to secure their governments from U.S. influence and extend personal authority indefinitely. Xi Jinping outlined the organization’s core principles during…

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Donald Trump

Trump Directs Administration to Locate 3 Additional Wars to End, Says ‘Nobel Committee Will Have No Choice’

Washington, D.C., August 28, 2025 — President Donald Trump announced today a bold directive for his administration: locate three additional wars to end, claiming this will secure him the Nobel Peace Prize. Speaking at a Mar-a-Lago press conference, Trump boasted he already “ended seven wars, more than anybody ever,” though he provided no specifics. His…

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American Monarchy

Trump Proposes Constitutional Reform to Establish Monarchy in the United States

WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump announced a proposal to replace the American democratic system with a monarchy, calling it a “bold solution” to restore national greatness. Speaking from his Mar-a-Lago resort in Florida, Trump argued that hereditary rule offers stability, efficiency, and “a lot less fake news.” In remarks Trump said that democracy has…

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Ursula Metrz

EU Parliament Forms 17 New Russia Sanctions Committees, Ukraine-Russia War to End by Thursday

BRUSSELS — The European Parliament has announced the creation of 17 new committees tasked with drafting sanctions against Russia. Officials confidently predicting that this latest wave of bureaucracy will decisively end the war in Ukraine by Thursday. Lawmakers in Strasbourg called the move “the most efficient weapon in Europe’s arsenal.” Members of Parliament described the…

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Putin Epstein

Russians Obtain Epstein Files; Putin Jokes About Replying to Melania’s Letter

MANHATTAN – Russian intelligence operatives obtained classified Jeffrey Epstein court documents after a federal judge accidentally left them on a Central Park bench Tuesday morning, according to FBI sources familiar with the investigation. U.S. District Judge Alison Nathan reportedly forgot the sealed files during her routine jog through the park. A jogger discovered the manila…

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