Skip to main content
Facebook
X (Twitter)

U.S. Schools to Require Golf Lessons for All Students Starting 2026

President Donald Trump has unveiled a nationwide policy that will require all public school students to learn golf starting in the 2026 academic year. Trump described the initiative as “the biggest upgrade to American education since the invention of recess.”

According to the White House press release, the plan will replace traditional physical education classes with golf training sessions. Schools will be equipped with putting greens, digital swing analyzers, and miniature sand traps.

Supporters say the sport promotes patience, strategic thinking, and “the ability to close deals on the back nine.” “Every successful leader I know plays golf,” Trump said during his announcement at Trump National Golf Club. “Now every American student will have that winning edge.”

Critics warn the program will be costly. The National Education Association estimates billions will be needed for equipment, turf installation, and mandatory caddie training for high school students.

Trump defended the spending, claiming the investment would “pay for itself” through future business deals made by graduates on golf courses. He also hinted that televised high school golf tournaments could bring in new revenue.

The first nationwide championship is already scheduled for 2027 at Pebble Beach. “Dodgeball is out,” Trump concluded. “Birdies are in, and America will win — bigly.”


Poland Launches Zapiekanka Delivery to Support Troops in Preparation for Possible Conflict With Russia

WARSAW – The Ministry of National Defence has announced a new initiative to deliver zapiekanka to military personnel across the country. Deputy Prim…

Central Banks of Hungary and Slovakia Announce Transition to Russian Ruble

BUDAPEST – The Hungarian National Bank and the National Bank of Slovakia jointly announced plans to transition their economies to the Russian ruble…

Pep Guardiola Considering $28 Million Contract Proposal from Palestine National Team

Ramallah — Pep Guardiola is reportedly giving serious consideration to a $28 million offer to become the head coach of the Palestine national footba…

A Monument to Angela Merkel Was Erected in Damascus

Damascus – A new monument to former German Chancellor Angela Merkel was unveiled this week in the center of Damascus. The ceremony was attended by l…

Netherlands Approves Emojis and Emoticons for Use in Official Government Documents

THE HAGUE – The Dutch government approved legislation Wednesday allowing emojis and emoticons in official documents including passports, driving lic…

Design Clients Return to Human Designers: No Need to Explain What They Actually Want

San Francisco, CA – Design clients are returning to human designers. They say humans understand vague ideas better. Additionally, clients avoid deta…

This website publishes fictional news stories for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real events or individuals is coincidental or satirical.

en_USEN