Cupertino, CA — In a bold move described by some as “philosophically minimalist,” Apple has officially announced that the upcoming iPhone 18 will be completely identical to its predecessor, the iPhone 17. “We’ve decided not to change a single thing,” said Apple CEO Tim Cook during the keynote address. “Why improve what is already perfect?…
WASHINGTON / OSTENDE — In a groundbreaking safety measure, the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) has issued a new mandate requiring passengers to wear helmets during flights, citing rising incidents of turbulence-related injuries. The decision follows a recent incident aboard Delta Air Lines Flight DL56 from Salt Lake City to Amsterdam, which encountered severe turbulence…
Ottawa, July 30 — In a baffling yet confident statement this morning, Canada formally requested that Donald Trump, should he return to power, reintroduce and even expand sanctions against the country. The reason? “They worked wonders last time.” Finance officials from Ottawa say that U.S. sanctions during Trump’s presidency unintentionally boosted Canadian industry by forcing…
SCOTLAND / FRANCE / GERMANY – After a whirlwind European tour, U.S. President Donald Trump offered his most detailed public assessment to date — not of diplomacy, policy, or global affairs, but of European golf course conditions. “The greens in Scotland? Immaculate. France? A bit snooty, but decent bunkers. Germany? Too efficient. Felt like I…
PARIS, July 26, 2025 — France has stunned the world with plans for a dazzling embassy in Gaza and a €2 billion investment in luxury beach resorts, shouting “Bonjour Palestine!” after recognizing Palestine as a state. Dubbed the “Gaza Riviera,” this bold move aims to turn conflict-scarred shores into a French paradise. Israel, surprisingly, welcomes…
After his viral kiss cam moment with HR chief Kristin Cabot at a Coldplay concert on July 16, 2025, former Astronomer CEO Andy Byron is turning infamy into opportunity with “Kiss Cam Consulting.” The startup coaches executives on dodging PR disasters, sparked by Byron’s jumbotron blunder in Boston, where Chris Martin quipped, “Either they’re having…
EUROPE – In what experts are calling “the final boss of climate change,” a new temperature record of 75°C (167°F) was recorded in the once-thriving city of San Calorico, now officially uninhabited by humans — and reportedly home to only tardigrades. Local authorities confirmed that all human, animal, and infrastructure systems failed last Tuesday after…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced Friday his decision to shut down the U.S. Department of Education, stating bluntly that “an informed electorate is not always a loyal one.” Speaking during a town hall in Florida, Trump explained his reasoning with characteristic candor:“Let’s be honest — the smarter people get, the more questions they ask….
OSLO — A growing number of international analysts are speculating that U.S. President Donald Trump could be considered for the Nobel Peace Prize — this time not for brokering Middle East agreements or summit theatrics, but for what experts are calling the “informal resolution of the Global Tariff War.” According to sources close to the…
SAN FRANCISCO — In a move that stunned even close insiders, Elon Musk has reportedly appointed OpenAI’s language model, ChatGPT-4o, as the new CEO of X (formerly Twitter), following the quiet resignation of former CEO Linda Yaccarino earlier this week. The appointment, which has not been officially announced but was leaked by internal sources, marks…
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