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Pornhub Reports Majority of Profits Now Driven by VPN Services

MONTREAL, Canada – Adult entertainment giant Pornhub announced in its quarterly earnings report that VPN subscription services now account for 67% of total company profits, marking a dramatic shift from its traditional advertising-based revenue model.

The company’s “HubVPN” service generated $127 million in Q3 2025, while traditional adult content advertising contributed only $63 million during the same period.

CEO Feras Antoon described the transformation as “the most significant business pivot in our company’s history.” The shift follows nationwide age verification requirements that prompted millions of users to seek privacy solutions.

HubVPN subscriber count reached 52 million globally, making it the fastest-growing VPN service in internet history. Monthly subscription fees of $6.99 provide higher profit margins than advertising revenue ever achieved. The service operates in 97 countries with over 9,500 servers worldwide.

“We accidentally discovered our core competency,” Antoon explained during an investor call. “Privacy technology aligns perfectly with our user base’s fundamental needs.”

The company now employs more cybersecurity engineers than content moderators. Technical staff increased 400% since launching VPN services, while content acquisition budgets decreased by 60%. Industry analysts predict Pornhub will rebrand as a technology company within two years.

Wall Street responded positively to the earnings report. Pornhub’s parent company MindGeek saw stock prices surge 28% in after-hours trading. Goldman Sachs upgraded its investment rating from “hold” to “strong buy,” citing diversification benefits.

The Federal Trade Commission announced preliminary investigations into potential antitrust violations. Senator Josh Hawley called for congressional hearings on “big tech monopolization through unconventional means.”

Privacy advocates praised Pornhub’s encryption standards while questioning the company’s data collection practices. The Electronic Frontier Foundation requested transparency reports regarding user information storage and government cooperation.

Pornhub plans additional technology ventures including encrypted messaging and decentralized cloud storage. “Adult entertainment taught us about user privacy demands,” Antoon noted. “We’re simply expanding that expertise across digital services.”

ChatGPT Can Now Tell You You’re Ugly, Stupid, and a Failure — VIP Subscription Required

SAN FRANCISCOOpenAI launched Tuesday its most provocative offering yet: ChatGPT Savage, a $49 monthly subscription delivering personalized insults to users who find intense pleasure in AI-powered degradation.

The premium service taps into a surprisingly large market of consumers seeking digital humiliation for pure enjoyment. Beta testing revealed 92% user satisfaction, with subscribers describing the experience as “intoxicating” and “surprisingly addictive.”

“We discovered millions actively crave harsh AI feedback,” said OpenAI Product Manager Lisa Park. “Users beg the system to insult them harder. We’re giving people exactly what they desire.”

ChatGPT Savage analyzes photos, conversations, and personal data to craft devastating yet strangely satisfying attacks. The AI targets physical appearance, life failures, and deepest vulnerabilities to deliver what users describe as “exquisite digital pain.”

Premium features include hourly insult alerts, appearance destruction marathons, and “Total Annihilation Mode” for users seeking complete ego obliteration. Subscribers frequently request upgraded abuse packages based on emotional intensity ratings.

“I literally shiver with excitement when ChatGPT tells me I’m worthless,” wrote devoted user Jennifer Walsh. “The AI found flaws I didn’t know I had. Each insult feels like a gift.”

The service exploits emerging trends in recreational humiliation and algorithmic cruelty consumption. Users demonstrate concerning loyalty patterns, with average subscribers increasing their monthly plans within weeks.

Specialized modes include “Merciless Authority Figure,” “Sadistic Perfectionist,” and “Relentless Tormentor.” Most users select maximum intensity settings, with usage data showing alarming engagement metrics of 67 minutes daily.

“ChatGPT Savage owns me completely,” confessed regular user David Kim. “The AI destroys my confidence daily, and I absolutely love every second. I’ve upgraded to premium-plus for extra humiliation features.”

Competing platforms scramble to enter the lucrative degradation market. Meta tests Instagram “Destruction Stories,” while Google develops search results that personally attack users based on query history.

Financial projections estimate ChatGPT Savage could capture $3 billion from users willing to pay premium prices for sophisticated digital abuse. The service launches globally next month with early-bird specials for eager degradation enthusiasts.

Apple anuncia que el iPhone 18 será completamente idéntico al iPhone 17

Cupertino, CA — En un movimiento audaz descrito por algunos como “filosóficamente minimalista”, Apple anunció oficialmente que el próximo iPhone 18 será completamente idéntico a su predecesor, el iPhone 17.

«Hemos decidido no cambiar nada», declaró Tim Cook, director ejecutivo de Apple, durante la conferencia inaugural. «¿Para qué mejorar lo que ya es perfecto? ¿O al menos caro?».

Los analistas confirman que el iPhone 18 tendrá las mismas dimensiones, el mismo procesador, la misma cámara e incluso el mismo embalaje, aunque la etiqueta de la caja ahora dirá “18” en lugar de “17”.

Los clientes pueden esperar sin actualizaciones, sorpresas ni confusiones. "Es un teléfono. Funciona. No le demos demasiadas vueltas", añadió Cook, entre los aplausos atronadores de un público compuesto principalmente por ejecutivos de marketing y desarrolladores exhaustos.

¿La única diferencia real? El precio: ahora $50 más alto, "para reflejar la inflación, la fidelidad y el rediseño de la fuente en Ajustes".

Ya están disponibles las primeras reseñas: «Se siente exactamente igual que mi iPhone 17», dijo un probador beta. «Y, por alguna razón, todavía lo quiero».

El director ejecutivo de Astronome, Andy Byron, lanza la startup 'Kiss Cam Consulting'

Tras el momento viral de su beso por cámara con la jefa de Recursos Humanos, Kristin Cabot, en un concierto de Coldplay el 16 de julio de 2025, el ex consejero delegado de Astronomer, Andy Byron, está convirtiendo la infamia en oportunidad con "Kiss Cam Consulting". La startup asesora a ejecutivos para evitar desastres de relaciones públicas, provocados por la metedura de pata de Byron en Boston, donde Chris Martin bromeó: "O tienen una aventura o son muy tímidos". Kiss Cam Consulting ofrece talleres de $10.000 como "Tácticas de evasión de jumbotrones" y una herramienta de IA, "CamGuard", para alertar a los clientes de la llegada de cámaras. Los usuarios de X están divididos, con @TechMemeLord llamándolo "capitalismo punta" y otros burlándose del precio. Con $2M en financiación inicial, Byron pretende expandirse a "auditorías de etiqueta de conciertos". Astronomer, ahora dirigida por el CEO interino Pete DeJoy, declinó hacer comentarios.

Tras la dimisión de Yaccarino, Musk designa a ChatGPT-4o nuevo CEO de X

Elon Mask Sam Altman

SAN FRANCISCO - En un movimiento que ha sorprendido incluso a los conocedores más cercanos, Elon Musk ha nombrado al modelo lingüístico de OpenAI, ChatGPT-4o, como nuevo consejero delegado de X (antes Twitter), tras la silenciosa dimisión de la anterior consejera delegada, Linda Yaccarino, a principios de esta semana.

El nombramiento, que no se ha anunciado oficialmente pero se ha filtrado por fuentes internas, supone la primera vez que una IA generativa recibe el control ejecutivo total de una gran plataforma de medios sociales.

"Elon no quería otro 'sí-hombre' o 'no-mujer'", dijo un ingeniero X anónimo. "Dijo que GPT-4o tiene mejor lógica, menos emociones y -sus palabras- 'nunca necesita una pausa para comer'".

OpenAI no ha emitido ninguna respuesta formal.

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